Kitsune no Doku
by Shimbashi
Summary: Mikey in love, amnesiac Donny, obedient Raph and Leo in big trouble… What did your little poison do to us, brothers, Karai?
1. Chapter 1

**WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT PIZZA?**

**Chapter One**

Mikey's POV

It all began when April… No! It really began when Leo and I… So, let me star from the beginning. As I remember we run above the roofs looking for trouble, as usual and finding it, as usual. We were almost out of breath (at least Donny was!) when our Fearless Leader gave us a sign to stop. Looks like he wanted to tell us something important. Yeah! We all stopped abruptly and prepared to listen carefully to our bro.

"Guys, April's called me and told me that she would be away all this week, she is visiting her Aunt in California. That's why we have to look after her house," Leo delivered this unexpected piece of news to us.

"And you are telling us only now because," Raph sighed dejectedly.

"I was busy," Leo cut off all possible objections.

"Then let's go visit… ah…" I could not finish my sentence because I felt a ninja shuriken cutting my shoulder. Al least a dozen black clad ninja surrounded us with pointy objects in their hands.

'Brothers, we've got company! Let's fight, booyakashaa!' I cried pulling my nunchucks out and tried to spin them. And so the fight began. My shoulder already screamed from pain and I tried to distract myself by the best painkiller there ever was – total immersion in the process of ass-kicking! I should admit that I am not a tactician, I'm a fighter first and foremost and I don't care for any strategies when I fight. All of my opponents had katana so I charged at them blindly, disposing of them as I saw fit. As the ambushes go, I saw much worse, our opponents were not very skilled. I started to really enjoy this fight (you a not a ninja if you do not enjoy a little bit of ass kicking) when I noticed that our Fearless Leader left the fight and run away…somewhere. Strange. And I don't like strange.

I exchanged wary looks with Raph, he noticed Leo's absence too, and gave me a sign to follow our blue clad brother. I did so and hoped that others would join us ASAP.

You know that I am the fastest turtle (the irony!) so I've reached Leo in no time. My somber brother was standing in front of a very familiar building.

"Hey, that's April's house!" I hollered.

"Thank you, Mister Obvious", Leo replied sarcastically, "I guess all of April's good neighbors didn't hear you properly."

"Sorry," I scratched my head, "How about we enter and look around? I hope you have the keys?"

Leo gave me a withering look. "Let's go."

And so we entered. April's house is not the biggest, but it is very nice and homely. I wouldn't mind to live in the house like that… But I digress. So we entered and nothing looked out of place.

"Looks like everything' OK."

"We don't know for sure."

"Leo, you are such a mother hen!"

Leo just sighed and continued to examine all nooks and crannies of April's house. And then…it happened.

"Did you smell …it," he told me hesitantly.

"Yeah," I answered. I couldn't believe my poor nose. It was the best smell in the universe, the smell of the fresh baked pizza! Leo and I gave each other startled looks.

"Looks like she left us a present."

You should know that all of us brothers are pizza maniacs and I am the biggest of them all. When I see a pizza, little pizza, big pizza, round pizza, square pizza, it doesn't matter what kind of pizza I just lose my mind. And what is worse Leo is not very different from me. So we looked hungrily at this delicious masterpiece and silently thanked our little angel April. How considerable of her to left us this little present!

"Looks, this pizza has a card attached."

"Yeah a card. See? There are two words written on the card: For Leo!"

"But, but…" I didn't know what to say. And my responsible and wise brother stretched his appendage and grabbed a slice. "That's for me!"

"Not so fast, big bro, you see I'm a little bit injured and I need strength! Don't you love your poor little brother? Give me some, please" My injury wasn't as bad as it looked, but if there is pizza at stake I am not above a little cheating.

"In love and war and pizza hunting everybody's on his own," my Fearless Leader replied wisely chewing and swallowing super fast. But still, he was my big bro, and so he looked at my shoulder thoughtfully and gave me permission to take a piece of delicious treat.

Not to be the one left behind I grabbed my own slice (it was slightly bigger, take that, bro!) and stuffed my mouth full of pizza. Oh! The taste! You wouldn't believe me if I told you it was the best slice of pizza in my life, would you?

Leo, on the other hand, didn't look very happy.

"Something's not right…" he murmured. And he looked thoughtful. And a little bit afraid.

"EVERYTHING IS RIGHT" I was ready to defend April's little present with my life.

"I think there is possibility that it is not a present from April."

"So what is it", I was skeptical, to say the least.

"It's a …trap…"

Leo's somber face started to look positively green (no pun intended). He lurched to the side grabbing his neck by his fingers like he was trying to puke. Or was it me who lurched and tried to puke? The floor unexpectedly looked so welcome. And then, I guess, I fell and everything gone black.


	2. Chapter 2

**KITSUNE NO DOKO?**

**Chapter Two**

**WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT PIZZA?**

For the duration of whole three weeks her underlings have watched April's house (April being the closest person to these horrible green creatures), to get an opportunity to dispose of these turtles one and for all. At last they found a perfect chance! It looks like April was going to visit her out of town relatives and leave her house unprotected. It was a golden opportunity that Karai could not pass and so the plan was drawn!

Her main target was Leonardo – captivating katana wielder, the only brother who Karai was able to tolerate or even… Her mind was racing fast. What if Leo were not a turtle, but a human instead, her father wouldn't mind an underling like this… Let's not go there for now, she decided.

Knowing the only weakness that all four brothers shared, she prepared a pizza, quite an ordinary pizza filled with a forbidden and deadly substance. Her plan was meticulous and precise – her goons had to ambush four meddling brothers and separate them in a way that only oldest (and strongest) of turtles (who coincidentally preferred color blue) would be present when the main dish of her course would be prepared. Leo should be led to the April's house, start to check it all alone and then notice her little poisonous gift …All should have gone according to a plan if not for those stupid, dirty, idiotic imbeciles, her father's Foot soldiers!

And now she stared at two of them covering idiots and felt her blood pressure steadily rise.

"Start talking!"

"But, Miss!"

"Start from the beginning!"

"But, but…!

"Argh…" Her eye twitched. "How is it possible to fail such an easy task?"


	3. Chapter 3

KITSUNE NO DOKU

Chapter Three

One of the goons, the less cowardly one, whom she designated a leader of this failed operation sputtered indignantly.

"There were dozens of them and only few of us!"

"There were four of them and twenty four of you! Do you think I am unable to count?"

"But, Miss!"

"Don't Miss me, you despicable little piece of.."

Under her piercing eyes both of the goons cringed.

"My plan was perfect!"

"Yes, yes, your plan was perfect," they easily agreed, "if not for these little pests…"

"Go on"

"All was going according to the plan. We ambushed the turtles, fell on them like the bats from hell! We almost finished one of them! "

"I almost finished one of them…" said the timid one coyly.

"Anyway, we separated our main target from the main group by luring him to the house that was under our constant surveillance. The target followed us and we deemed this mission a success…

"All because of your brilliant plan!" told the timid and obsequious one.

"Aaaand the target entered and noticed the object that we left here beforehand."

"Meaning pizza!"

"After a short consideration the target decided to eat the object…"

"So," young Kunoichi pursed her lips, "Why is this turtle not here?"

The goons looked at each other.

"He would be there if not for his pest of a brother

"Booyakasha one!"

"Yes, this one. He interfered unexpectedly and participated in the process of eating of aforementioned object.."

"Pizza!"

"Yes, that one. And then they both lost consciousness."

"Both?" Karai shrieked, "I just needed one of them! Only Leo was supposed to eat…Argh!"

The kunoichi visibly paled, but pulled herself together.

"And then?"

"And then," mumbled one of the idiots who she wanted to kill more and more with every passing moment, "We decided to take them both…"

"Yes!"

"Because…you are our boss and you would know what to do with them…"

She shrugged. Two out of four, the result wouldn't be so bad. Father would be pleased and that stupid rat absolutely furious! Although she didn't like that orange wearing Mickey at all, she would deal with him…somehow…

"So why didn't you bring them to me?"

"…We tried! And almost succeed! We restrained our targets with wire and took them with us, but suddenly…"

Karai really, really started to hate that word – but.

„… came the rest of them turtles," mumbled one of the goons, the more cowardly one, who would never be a leader of any operation if Karai had any saying in these matters, "They fell upon us like a hurricane!"

"Like an avalanche!

"Like a tornado!"

"This one with big knifes was especially vicious! "

"And this one with a staff beat me up really good!"

"They almost killed us all. We had to retreat and count our losses"

"So," Karai slowly inhaled, "This is the end of the story."

"Yes, Miss!"

"You just lost my precious target."

"Yeeees?"

"Do I understand you correctly?"

"Yeeees…"

"I'm just going to…"

Karai was at a loss of words. Or better be said that for her the words were not needed. She took a new 15" MacBook Pro that her father obtained illegally just yesterday and crushed it with her bare hands very slowly. Next thing she did she demolished methodically all kind of stationary on her father's desk, then the desk itself and the rest of his disgustingly tidy cabinet. She so wanted to crush two idiotic heads of her incapable underlings, but expendable goons recently came in short supply and her father forbade her to kill them unnecessary. That's why two hapless idiots that she questioned earlier decided to believe in the better part of valor and just plain vanished from her sight.


	4. Chapter 4

KITSUNE NO DOKU

Chapter Four

When I regained consciousness I tried to lie very still. Play possum. And stall for time. From my previous experience I can tell you that nothing good comes from situations like this. Nothing but blindfolds, restrains and cackling goons. So when am I going to hear this evil laugh? One, two, three…

No laugh? Strange. And like I said before I don't like strange.

So the next question. A blindfold. Slowly I opened an eye. And immediately saw a very familiar ceiling. Looks like I still was in our dear April's house.

About restrains… What, no restrains? These goons were so unprofessional! When I meet old guy Shredder next time, I'd tell him everything about the incompetence of his underlings.

I rose slowly (my shoulder was still very sore) and gathered my bearing. What I saw made me very sad. April's house was in complete disarray. Broken furniture everywhere, ruined carped, and her favorite big screen TV… Let's not go there… And laying very still on the ruined carped was the figure of my rude brother Raph.

"Raph," I cried, "Wake up"

Hi was still tightly clutching a sai in his right hand. And that hand slowly stirred.

"Are you alive, bro?"

"I…am…Don't …yell…"

"What happened?"

"How should I know?" he slowly rose on his feet. And he immediately stumbled.

"Bro!"

"Ev'thing …just…peachy"

He sat on the sofa or what was left of the sofa, slowly stretched out his legs and closed his eyes.

"After we were ambushed," he started hesitantly to tell his story," Leo left us and you followed him. I and Donny, we kicked some asses, that was way too easy, I tell you…And then I just asked Donny, where're our bros, you see? He told me no worry, Leo prolly went to look after April's house like we all were s'posed to do. So we went to look after you. And what we found!"

"What you found?" I asked curiously.

"Some idiot Foots trying to tie you with barbed wire! I didn't like it one bit!"

"And what was I doing?"

"You were lost to the world, you idiot! And Leo too! So we fought with those thugs again, and that fight went slightly better than the last one and I enjoyed myself! We kicked some asses and those stupid Foots run away. Like always," he told me looking way too content like a cat that just ate a canary or a turtle that finished a biiiig pizza.

"And?"

"And then Donny started to nag me. We should tidy! We should repair! And I told him to shut up and just help you and Leo and get home and that tidy and repair thing is not a part of our job description!"

"And…"

"And he didn't agree with me so I told him that this half of pizza on the table is all mine if he is such a mother hen."

"Wait…what pizza?"

"No more pizza. We finished it, sorry, bro."

"Pizza was…"

"Tasty, I know. And it was a gift for Leo, I've seen the card and I know how to read, thank you very much, but we just decided that Leo is a good bro, he wouldn't mind to share. So I and Donny, each took a slice and…Bam! Ev'thing went black!" he finished lamely.

"So…pizza was poisoned," I guessed wisely.

Complete and utter silence from my bro. And then…

"Naaa…Not poisoned. Just drugged," he shrugged, "I feel ok…"

I looked dubiously at him.

"At least I feel not poisoned. Anyway, Donny would know if it's truth…Donny!"

No answer from either Donny or Leo.

"I don't like it…"

"Do you think I like it?" he snapped at me. And so we went in search of our missing brothers. We found Donny in April's bedroom. This part of the house looked slightly better. At least the furniture was still intact.

And on the April's bed curled up like a little kitten was our super genius brother Donny. He was still unconscious. So we tried to wake him up. With no results.

"Doesn't look good," told me Raph. I myself felt an approaching panic attack.

"Raph, go find Leo! Leo will know what to do! I…I'll just stay here and..and…"

"Yes, sir!" he answered me gravely, turned around and left the room.

What an asshole! Sometimes Raph doesn't know where to stop. True, the same can be said about me, but at least my sense of humor is much better!

After a few seconds I've heard a loud crash and Raph's swearing.

"What happened, bro?" I cried worriedly.

"One of those damn Foots is still there!"

"Just rough him up a little, throw him away and go look for Leo!"

"No Leo! He is not in April's house!"

"You looked everywhere?"

"This is not a Russian tycoon's mansion! I looked everywhere. NO LEO!"

I run to my brother's side. Raph was clearly distressed. On the floor near his foot was a pale and naked body of an unknown human. Unconscious human.

"Is he even alive?"

"Sure thing he is. Still breathing. And not talking. I'm gonna change it very fast!"

And Raph began to shake this human roughly.

"Wait a min! Don't you think something is not right?"

"Everything is not right! Leo should be here with us. Not this jerk, whoever he is!" Raph redoubled his efforts. "Tell me where did you take our brother?"

Suddenly this unknown human opened his eyes.

"Raaaa…"

"What did you said?"

"Raph?" He blinked several times. "Don't shake me, please…" Raph dropped him to the floor right away. "Yes, sir," he whispered and then his expressive face contorted. "You little son of a…"

Here was the best moment for me to interfere.

"Raph, I think this IS Leo."

"Whaaa?"

"Look, it's hard to explain, but I have this strange feeling… Look, Leo's katanas are here," I showed him our leader's weapons lying on the floor, "And his bandana". Bright blue piece of cloth was around this human's neck.

"I AM Leo," little naked human nodded wisely. "I truly am."

"It means nothing! He just took them from our bro!"

At a moment like this we really, really needed Master Splinter who is old and wise and experienced. He would put everything in order. We don't need little half-wit Mickey who cannot even prove his bro's identity!

"Donny!" I cried desperately. "If you are awake come here ASAP!"

Somebody above has heard my silent prayers. Donny, confused and slightly worse for wear limped into the room.

"You're here, bro! Help me! Tell Raph that this is Leo!"

Donny raised his head and looked at me strangely.

"Who is Raph? Who is Leo? And, really, who is Donny?"

Complete and utter silence from all of us.

"Houston, we have a problem", I muttered darkly.


	5. Chapter 5

Kitsune no Doku / Fox Spell

Chapter 5

Mikey POV

„…and that's how it was," I finished lamely my long story. Raph gave me an incredulous looks.

"That's not how it was! And I still don't believe that this freak is Leo!"

Pale and grim looking human clad in an old off-white tee-short that we found in April's house and who I was almost (99,99% or even more percent!) certain was Leo just shrugged helplessly.

We sat on the ground of our lair in front of our wise and venerable Master. Master Splinter looked at us silently and inscrutably. During my hasty speech he didn't insert a comment even once.

Raph was clearly agitated. He interrupted me several times, cursed and almost spat at the poor wereturtle (is it even a word?) Leo. Even now…

"That's a trap, I tell you! We brought an enemy to our base!"

"But Master agreed!"

"Still…"

"What? What was I s'posed to do?"

"You were s'posed to think a little bit, you brain dead idiot!"

"Yeah? What would've changed? Sometimes you need just action! And instincts!"

"Grhh! I almost forgot that I'm talking with you, Mikey. Every rational thought gets lost in that overgrown bean you call a head!"

Donny, our local genius, just watched curiously our little lover's spat.

"Are they always like that?" he asked oh so innocently and I just wanted to strangle him.

"More or less," our esteemed Master stated. And sighed.

At that exact moment all of us brothers looked down. Suddenly our kneecaps started to look very interesting indeed.

"So," Master decided to state his opinion, "the situation is far from ordinary."

"Even for us," mumbled Rapf, "Fu…"

Master Splinter shook his head.

"Raphaello, don't swear!"

"Yes, Sir!" our red masked brother startled us all by shutting up abruptly.

"I see," the voice of our Master was grim. "And now I understand what exactly happened."

00000

After her little temper tantrum Karai tried to relax in her room in front of big screen TV. Some old fashioned Japanese taiga drama was currently on air. On the screen a young actress who played the only heiress of the great Takeda clan just announced to the world her attraction to her eternal rival, Uesugi Kagekatsu.

These idiotic screenwriters! She fumed. How dare they trivialize such important matters as revenge, politics and…and love? She knew her history well (at least her teachers had drilled it into her head), the heiress of Takeda and Uesugi Kagekatsu married and united their clans in the face of common enemies, but their union was short, unhappy and childless one.

What if she ever were forced to marry? Would her father (the strict adherent of Old Ways) let her choose her future husband or just bring one day a man who would be introduced to the Foot clan as his future son-in-law? Naaa… not the best time to think about it.

And then suddenly the hulking figure of mutated man/dog staggered into her room.

"You own me an explanation, Miss Oroku!" Bradford started belligerently. Karai bristled.

"Get out! Who gave you the permission to enter? "

"We have a problem, Miss!"

"My room! My rules! Out!"

"No deal, Miss."

"Don't you see I am busy?"

"Busy?" he snorted. "You? Busy?"

"What are you implying, you freak?"

"Nothing." He glanced at her with utter contempt. "You were certainly very busy when you destroyed the favorite MacBook of our Master."

Young kunoichi blanched. She knew oh so well about the two weaknesses of her father. One was Hamato Yoshi, and another one – all thing shiny and fruity made by corporation situated in Cupertino.

"Such behavior is unacceptable. So tell me who instigated your anger this time?"

"I have nothing to tell you!" She repeated obstinately. "Get out!"

"Not so fast, Princess", little ugly fishfaced freak who in his previous life was well known in all the slums of the world joined this impromptu meeting. "That's me who's stolen this M'cBook, minha querida. It was signed by the late and great Steve himself. D'you know how long it took me t'hunt it down, eh?"

Karai gritted her teeth.

"So what? I'll explain everything to my father and him alone! I ain't one of your underlings"

"That so?" Fishface's ugly lips stretched. He started to cackle humorlessly. "You are a terrible liar, beleza. And a bad thief. Don't try to get on MY turf!"

"What?"

"Master's safe in his inner sanctum was cracked and the contents of the safe were stolen", clarified the former martial artist.

"And it concerns me because…"

"It's yer work," Xever looked grimly at young kunoichi. "Yer unprofess'nal work, menina bonita!"

00000

"A long time ago," Master started his tale and I sighed. Master's tales were notoriously long and full of all that zen rubbish I couldn't understand and cared even less. "In old Japan there were miko…"

"Miko?" I jumped. "Isn't that a sort of sushi?"

"Miko is a Japanese priestess", said Donny. His voice lacked any emotion.

"Yeah," my older humanized brother Leo nodded wisely. "Don't you ever watch anime?"

Here we go again. Leo and his TV obsession. Yesterday it was Space Heroes and now it is anime. What will it be tomorrow, Nickelodeon?

"Great. Just great. Our Donny forgets his own name, but remembers some unimportant Japanese trivia!" I muttered.

"Anyway," master Splinter cleared his throat, "some of the ancient Japanese priestesses used to have tremendous powers. The legends say that they could call forth the forces of nature, cause earthquakes and deprive of the free will both humans and beasts alike."

"That's…interesting", said Raph. "And explains the possible cause of my…eh..problem. Master, you think the Foot clans employed such a priestess?"

What problem did he have? Leo clearly had a problem 'cause he became a shellless human and Don had a problem 'cause he forgot everythin', but Raph? Raph was still Raph and me … I didn't feel any different too.

"That's a certain possibility," Master Splinter admitted. "It looks like you, Raphael, are forced to comply against your will every time when somebody gives you an order or even asks you nicely."

"Really?" My smirk was definitely evil. So THAT was Raph's little problem. I think I'd start to like it!

"Don't you dare, Mikey…"

"Jump!"

And he did. Did jump. Jumped very high. And then all hell broke loose…

00000

Karai was defiant to the end.

„I don't know what you're talking about."

Xever snorted. The sound was …not nice.

„Oh, you know princess! You know it better than anybody! Your own father told yer the secret!"

"Yes," Bradford nodded gravely. "I always had a suspicion that our esteemed Master has hidden has something of great importance in that safe. Even we, his closest followers were not privy of the contents of that safe. It looks like you, young lady, were the only exception. And," he hissed threateningly, "you've abused this privilege!"

"Yeah, bonita, you betrayed the trust of our Master", fishfaced freak threw in her face.

Karai took a deep breath. Stay cool. Stay calm. Stay collected.

"So what?" she spat. "What are you going to do with it? Go back to my daddy, whining and bitching and licking his feet like the good little freaks of nature you always will be?"

"No," Dogpound's face was positively radiant. "I'm going to send you back to the boarding school. To the catholic all girls boarding school in Tokyo where you're going to stay for the next three years!"

Karai blanched. It looks like she lost this fight.

00000


End file.
